Tonight (December 20th) I gave my first ever spoken word poetry performance at Seeing is Believing. The following installation is the poem that I delivered.
By Sean William Bowles
I want to write a poem...
I want to write a poem that will blow your mind an rock your world
I want to write a poem that will weaken your knees, make you sick to your stomach a destroy your beliefs
I want to write a poem about what you are thinking, how you feel and put a screw on your face
I want to write words profound enough to make you transcend this space
I want to inspire you and then to strike a nerve
I want to write with passion, with fire, with contempt and with verve
I want to write a poem about love and sex and burning desire
I want to write about heartbreak, and loss and the resulting gun fire
I want to write a poem about my anger and fear
And about the path that I took that led me up here
I want to tell you that I always choose die over fly
I want you to believe it, even if I think it's a lie
I want to make you think, "what the fuck did I just hear?!"
I want to make you clap, make you yell and sometimes even jeer
I want to write a poem...
I want to write a poem about being a kid
About Saturday cartoons, cops and robbers and bike tire skids
About ow none of us had cell phones like Zack on "Saved by the Bell"
And how playing house, for us boys, was a special kind of hell
I want to write a poem about the first day of school
I want to speak in hyperbole like that Napoleon Dynamite fool
Like how I am the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government
I want to tell you these lies simple for the fun of it
I want to write a poem about new clothes and new shoes
About the smell of erasers, used books and playground rules
I want to write about the old gymnasium and older substitute teachers
I want to write about passing notes and "your mommas so fat" jokes...
I want to write a poem about how High School is everything while you're in it
And then means nothing when you're done it
I want to write a poem about how hard my life seemed back then
And in retrospect, how easy it seems right now
I want to write about how I think today, innocence is wasted on children
And how old people think youth is wasted on the young
I want to write a poem
I want to write a love poem...
About first girlfriends and first kisses
About sweaty Saturday nights and sweet Sunday mornings
I want to write a poem that will take you from the dance floor and on through the bedroom door
About first base, second base and eventually home runs
About how the first time, for both of us... it wasn't really that fun
I want to write a poem about how my heart aches without her
I want to write a poem about how my heart breaks because of her
I want to write a metaphor to describe her beautiful eyes
Like, "Her eyes are the ocean; terrifying and striking, vast and profound. eternally drowning in their magnificence I feel at ease with death as if I have found peace... in heaven..."
But I am just not that deep
So I'll just say that she, is simply, beautiful
I want to write a poem
I want to write a poem about how much I love music
Art Tatum, Jill Scott and Thelonious Monk
Nina Simone, The Commodores, and Felonious Funk
I want to write about Round Midnight and Holiday's Strange Fruit
I want to write about piano, saxophone, the bass and the flute
I want to tell you how I can listen to The Strokes followed by Thriller
Throw in the Big L, Little Brother and then maybe The Killers
I want to write about how Weezy sold a millions albums in one week
And how the media still talks about him with their tongue in their cheek
I want to write about how nobody seems to write lyrics anymore
How artist after artist is just another label whore
I want to write about how House Music still pisses me off
And how on the issues Hip Hop music is getting too soft
I want to tell you how I've got this spoken word shit down to a tee
'Cause no one on the corner has swagger like me
I want to write about booze, ice and every other cliche
But 50s got that covered, so on the subject I've got nothing left to say
I want to write a poem
I want to write about my family
And how divided it is
About growing up black and white
And how difficult it is
I want to write a poem about my mother and how her strength inspires me
I want to write a poem about my grandmother and how her ways can tire me
I want to write about shared Christmases and birthdays and growing up in two houses
About my father, his new life and how I have no idea who his new spouse is
I want to tell you how growing up like this can make you feel like, you're only there to take up space
About how life seems twice as long wen you have no rightful place
And complete families seem to be doubling the pace
I want to write a poem
I want to write a poem about hatred and rage
About how a nigger can't break through the glass ceiling,
But he can damn sure make it up on stage
I want to write about how the United States elected a man named Barack
And how we've finally managed to paint that old slave house black
And why today, all of a sudden racism doesn't exist
Slavery has been forgotten and lynching is no longer considered a twist
What I want to know is who is going to prosecute the KKK
And when will there be equal rights for every person asexual, straight, or gay
I want to write a poem about all of this because it is important to me
I want to write about all of the inequalities I see
I want to write a poem that will break own these walls
I want to see hatred tumble and prejudice fall
I want to write a poem
I want to write a poem about misery and death
About how I wasn't around to see my grandfather take his last breath
I want to tell you how he passes with my grandmother at his side
And how they say he died of Cancer, but I say he died from pride
I want to write about feeling lost and alone
About how is it the people and not the place that make this my home
I want to write about how too many leave us too soon
How final heart beats can feel like final heart booms
I want to write a poem that will make you remember your friends
About their beautiful beginnings and in too many cases, their tragic ends
I want to say it in a way that brings a tear to your eye
Because I know the beauty in the truth and the fear in the lie
I want to write a poem that makes you feel all fucked up in side
Like Knight did, when he said, Hard Rock had had his brain fried
But this is my poem, so I might say something like this...
"I dreamt of the moment Death will leave with my soul/ Standing bare black naked alone, knee deep in the snow/ I see my face mirrored beneath Death's dark hood/ my eyes become his, looking back where I once stood/ I am merely a shadow now, the wisp of my last breath/ I lost my life the moment I dreamt of death..."
Yeah, I want to write something just like this
About my death and I might call it, "The Long Goodnight Kiss"
I want to write a poem...
I want to write a poem about all these things and so much more
But I just can't seem to find the words.
Peace.
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